Rams’ Unshaven Rebellion: Derby Fan Vows to Keep “Punic Hair” Wild Until Six Straight Wins
In the heart of Pride Park’s North Stand sits Chloe “Rammy” Ramsdale, 29, a lifelong Derby County supporter whose latest pledge has turned more heads than Jerry Yates’ late equalisers. Chloe has sworn a solemn, slightly itchy oath: she will not shave, trim, or even condition her pubic hair until the Rams string together six consecutive victories.
Yes, you read that correctly. While most fans paint their faces or tattoo the crest, Chloe has weaponised her nether regions in the name of Championship glory.
### The Origin of the “Punic Hair” Pact
It began on a rain-soaked Tuesday night in September, after Derby’s 1-1 draw with Plymouth Argyle – their third consecutive stalemate. Frustrated in the concourse, Chloe overheard a fellow fan joke that the team’s form was “as patchy as my lockdown beard.” Inspiration struck.
“I thought, patchy? I’ll show you patchy,” Chloe told us, sipping a pre-match pint outside the stadium. “Carthage fell because Hannibal wouldn’t commit. I’m committing. This is my Punic War on mediocrity.”
(For the history buffs: “Punic” refers to ancient Carthage. Chloe studied classics at Derby Uni and insists the metaphor is “90% accurate, 10% beer.”)
### The Rules Are Simple – And Fuzzier Every Week
– No shaving, waxing, or laser until Derby win six in a row.
– Documentary evidence required: weekly “progress pics” posted to a private Rams WhatsApp group (blurred for modesty, sharp for morale).
– Bonus clause: If Derby reach the playoffs with the streak intact, Chloe will dye the victorious bush black and white in club colours.
### Current Tally: 0 Wins (And Counting)
As of November 14, Derby sit 10th with 23 points. Their longest streak this season? Two wins. Chloe’s undergrowth, by her own admission, is now “approaching Brian Clough-era sideburns territory.”
“It’s like a hedge maze down there,” she laughs. “My partner’s started calling it Pride Park South.”
### Manager Paul Warne’s Reaction
When informed of the vow, Warne grinned: “If that’s what it takes to get the lads firing, I’ll personally buy her a machete when we hit six. Just… keep it off the training pitch.”
### Fan Reactions: From Horror to Heroism
– “Legend. I’m growing mine in solidarity.” – @RamsTilIDye (X)
– “Health and safety violation waiting to happen.” – @SafeStandingDCFC
– “Plot twist: she’s been clean-shaven since 1975.” – @ForestTears69
### The Science (Sort Of)
Dermatologists note that pubic hair grows ~0.3mm per day. At Derby’s current win rate (0.46 wins per game), Chloe’s “Punic forest” could reach 4.2 cm before the streak even starts. By playoff time? We’re talking Amazonian.
### A Message to the Squad
Chloe’s final words, shouted toward the tunnel:
“Lads, every unused razor is a prayer. Win six, and I’ll liberate the lawn. Fail, and I’ll be auditioning for Jurassic Park VI.”
Derby’s next chance to trim the deficit? Saturday vs. Stoke. Chloe will be in Block 22, North Stand – unshaven, unbreakable, and utterly unhinged.
Follow Chloe’s journey (responsibly) on #PunicPride. Updates as the bush thickens.
